I’ve Always Struggled with People Cancelling – Until now 2

The struggle with people cancelling

The struggle with people cancelling

I’ve always struggled with people cancelling on me. It would drive me nuts! I felt like people didn’t respect my time, or I didn’t matter enough to them and I became really frustrated and felt defeated.

This is a terrible mindset to be in. Not only am I feeling sorry for myself, but I’m also not taking into consideration how the other person feels or what they might be going through that’s causing them to cancel in the first place.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up and lost in our own thoughts and assumptions and fall into victim mentality where woe is me.

To live a more fulfilling life it’s important you find ways that will help pull you out of this negative thinking trap. It requires you to retrain your brain a bit but once you get into the habit of it, you will feel so much more free!

Check out this weeks video to see how I’ve been able to shift my mindset about an issue that has been one of my biggest pet peeves my entire life!

How I Deal with People Cancelling on me

The first thing I’ve gotten better at is not personalizing things. I know it really has nothing to do with me, it’s about them and what their needs are. Being able to let go of my own emotional attachment to the situation makes it much easier to accept their need to cancel.

I’ve also been able to reframe the situation by looking at how I can be grateful for the fact that they cancelled. Instead of getting frustrated and feeling sorry for myself, I now see it as unexpected free time where I can do anything I want! Maybe I can finally watch that movie I’ve always wanted to watch, or go for a walk and explore, or dive into a new book.

Whenever you feel disappointed try reframing it and think about what you can be grateful for with this unexpected change. It’s amazing how much better you’ll feel when you can see the glass half full!

If you enjoyed this video you may also like Letting go of Expectations 

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2 thoughts on “I’ve Always Struggled with People Cancelling – Until now

  • Ian

    In my experience of years of trial and error, I came to the realization that this has to do with with “expectations”. We get disappointed when we set expectations. The bigger the expectations, the bigger the disappointment. It’s true, people can change their minds for varying reasons. Some legit, some not so much. But it is THEIR choice. And they will eventually face the consequences of those choices. Karma if you will. Do we follow the same path, by getting angry and feeling resentment towards these people? Or do we accept that’s the way it is, and to move forward with OUR own lives?

    Over time, I’ve learned to not have too many, or unrealistic expectations of others and things. Mind you, it’s perfectly fine and normal to have some, but it is unhealthy to put too much emphasis on it. As you mentioned, it made you feel negative. And you are absolutely correct, that it’s a matter of retraining our brains, from being insecure that we need external factors to feel better about ourselves. Or to gain that confidence that look deep within ourselves to find that confidence. Wants vs Needs.

    What I do these days, I find out what family and friends are doing. And make them an option. I don’t commit. But I do let them know that if I can make it, I will definitely be there. By keeping my options open, if one doesn’t fall through, there are other plans that will. Sometimes, by evening, I end up deciding I just want to chill out at home. This also helps me to weed out “friends”. There are those that take me not going out with them personally, and eventually end up ghosting me. Which is fine. Makes it easier for me to move on. They did the job for me.   Then there are those that stick by me, and enjoy the time we do spend together. Quality over quantity.

    I’ve often said, and this has become one of my mantras. “When it comes to your emotional and mental well-being. And as long as you don’t intentionally hurt anyone. It’s ok to be selfish.” Think of you first, so that your better equipped mentally and emotionally when you deal with other people.