How to Say NO! 3


say no

Say NO

What do you mean? Oooh
When you nod your head yes
But you wanna say no
What do you mean? Heeey

I never thought I would quote Justin Bieber but there’s a first for everything!

I know a lot of people who have trouble spitting out the ‘N’ word. I believe many of us struggle with this because we’re people pleasers. We want to make sure everyone else is happy – even at our own expense. There is also a lot of guilt that comes up for many of us when we say no.

It’s important to learn how to stand your ground, because saying yes all the time when you wanna say no can cause you a lot of unnecessary stress! It also builds a lot of resentment towards other people when it’s really an internal issue you need to work on yourself. You shouldn’t blame other people for making you feel like you should say yes – that decision is fully on you and you need to work through why it’s so difficult for you to be honest about what you really want.

Being truthful and saying no actually shows a lot of confidence, and people will respect you more for staying true to who you are and what you want. People will likely be even more drawn to you because confidence is an attractive quality to have.

In this weeks video I give you some new perspectives to think about that will help you feel good about saying no! Check it out 🙂

 


How to Say NO!:

To truly understand your aversion to saying no, you have to ask yourself what you’re truly afraid of in the situation. What do you worry will happen if you don’t say yes?

If you struggle with feeling guilt around saying no remind yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong by saying no. Guilt is a feeling you have when you feel you’ve done something wrong. Saying no is not a moral issue so why should you feel guilty?

If you enjoyed this video you may also like How to Make Tough Decisions

Want to start living life to the fullest? CLICK HERE to check out #theyearofme program!

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3 thoughts on “How to Say NO!

  • Sarah L.

    For a long time I have struggled with saying “No” and I felt like I had to make up elaborate excuses to get out of things I had agreed to do. It’s taken a lot of work and will require a lot more, but I finally feel like I can just be honest with my friends when I’m not feeling up to something and in the end it saves me a lot of stress, worry and guilt. I think it’s made my friendships stronger as a result.

  • Ian

    I agree Sharon. I would like to add my point of view in the matter. I was one of those “people pleasers” when I was younger (in my teens to late 20’s). Yes, I had the George Costanza syndrome. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egwXofQqQ18 . Ok, not that bad, but you get the point. lol I was afraid people will not like me, and I would lose friends. I was afraid that people might make fun of me, or say bad things behind my back. I was afraid of being left out. But as I learned to understand who I was, and what I wanted in life for myself, I realized one common factor for all those fears. Insecurity. I realized I was an insecure person. This word seems to be an insult to many. No one wants to admit they are insecure. No one wants to be told they are insecure. It tells/reminds them they are still children. But the sad reality is, most people are when they are younger. Many still are as they got older. They’re failing to understand that their life, is THEIR life. Not anyone else’s. When the day ends, and shit has hit the fan, the only person standing right in the middle of it all, is you. As supportive and caring as family and friends are, there are things in life that only that individual can overcome by themselves. This fear/insecurity is what we all have to get over. And no one can do that for us, but ourselves.

    It’s so much harder these days for the younger generation, that’s transitioning to adulthood, to find themselves. Because social media and technology has conditioned them to be the “latest and greatest” of whatever trend is going on. Very few teens and young adults have their own identity. Their identity, is the identity of everyone else. Because in this sense, they feel accepted. Part of a group. Better the sheep that follows and never left behind, than the goat who looks out for himself. Mind you, I’m not implying we should be selfish, and not care about anyone else. But as I have often said in the past, when it comes to your own emotional and mental well-being, it’s okay to be selfish to do what is best for YOURSELF, and your personal growth. As long as we don’t intentionally try to hurt others in the process. When others feel hurt because we said “no” (because it’s what was best for ourselves at the time), is just an indication of their own selfishness to get others to do what they want. They aren’t really thinking about your well-being. And as you said, why would you want someone like that in your life. People like this are just extra baggage weighing you down, from becoming your true self.

    I’ve learned to say “no” a long time ago. It took a while, but I managed to succeed in finding myself. And one of the advantages of it, is I am able to weed out the people that are a negative impact on my life. And anyone else associated with that person, who sides with them. Because I’m no longer that insecure person, I welcome those times with open arms. Because the more I learn about people’s true nature, the easier it is for me to decide to let go, or keep. Either way, the “weight” on my shoulders gets lighter every day. And I know who my real friends and family are. It’s a win, win. 😉

    So to all those out there that are fearful of repercussions for saying “no”. The only thing you should actually fear, is never becoming your own strong, independent, confident self. And forever being the status of “sheeple”. If I can pick the “goat” among the sheeples, there are plenty of others who can as well. And we’d rather take the goat into our circle. The sheeple can stay where they are. Confidence is very attractive. At times, you don’t even have to work at meeting people, they just naturally gravitate towards you.