Do Women Get Over a Breakup Faster? 1


Get over a breakup

I’m so excited to share this weeks video with you because I had the opportunity to try something new  🙂  I had a viewer write in with a really interesting question around how to get over a breakup and I couldn’t wait to tackle it!

Relationships are definitely one of the hardest things to navigate in life and when they end, we can’t help but compare ourselves to how the other person is handling it.  We want to be able to bounce back quickly and move on like nothing happened.  Much easier said than done, am I right?

There are some key factors that play a huge role in how quickly you move on after a breakup and it’s really important to give yourself the right amount of time to go through them.

Click the video below to discover the one essential step you need to take to be able to fully move on after a breakup!

5 Key Steps in Getting Over a Breakup:

Grieve the relationship

As much as it sucks and as much as it hurts, it’s really important you take that time to properly grieve the end of the relationship.  If you choose to push those emotions aside and not deal with them, you’re not allowing yourself to fully heal your heart and you will find it challenging to open up and create a deep connection with someone new.

Stop social media stalking your ex

We’ve all done it.  Curiosity always gets the better of us and we want to know what our ex is up to and if they’re enjoying life without us.  We secretly want them to be in hibernation mode with their heart in a million pieces because in some twisted way that makes us feel better.  No good has ever come from seeing how much fun they are having on social media.  We’re just making ourselves feel worse, and remember – social media tends to only show the highlights of peoples lives.  You have no real clue how they are spending most of their time.

Make a “FUN” list

Start thinking about you and all the amazing ways you can spend your free time now!  Make a list of all the things you’ve always wanted to experience and then put them into action!  This allows you to grow in new ways and also helps to keep your mind focused on healthier habits.

Forgive yourself

It’s really important to take time and reflect on the relationship and what you learned from it.  You might realize you’re holding onto things you need to forgive yourself for.  Maybe you didn’t like how you reacted in certain situations, or said things you didn’t mean. Allow yourself to learn from these experiences and then let them go.  It’s not going to do you any good to hold onto those feelings.

Surround yourself with your favourite people

This one is super important!  A support system is key.  You don’t have to go through these tough times alone.  That’s what friends and family are for. Call them up when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to hear you out.  Don’t forget that Therapists and Coaches are a great way to seek support as well if you find you need someone a bit more objective.

Click here to check out the video I did on vulnerability

If you enjoyed this video you may also like The Rebound Relationship 

Also click here to check out a podcast I did on surviving heartbreak and moving forward

Want to start living life to the fullest? Click here to check out #theyearofme program!

#theyearofme

 

 


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One thought on “Do Women Get Over a Breakup Faster?

  • Ian

    Speaking from my experience (which includes getting to know other’s experiences and relating it to mine, or appending to it), in general, women do tend to move on more quickly. And this is why in my opinion.

    I’ve always believed, mentally, women are much stronger than men. Yes, they tend to get emotional, and sometimes to the point of being unreasonable, crying and freaking out. Then they get angry, mad. With the breakup running through their heads, and all the ways they wasted their time with the guy. Some even scheme to get back at them. But eventually, all that fades. And that’s when women get really “scary”. Once they get over the initial gamut of emotional roll coaster, they become stone cold. Nothing phases them. It’s hard press to change their minds. And god forbid you piss them off even more at this point. It’s this that men see, and think that women get over break-ups easier.

    Guys on the other hand, we get hurt too. But we are better at masking those emotions right off the bat. We don’t want to look weak, or that our ex has something on us. Typical male behavior. But none the less, we are hurting inside. And we try to get over it by moving on to the next woman to fill that void. Which is what women see, as “moving on faster”. Mind you, women do the same thing, there is a reason why we call it “rebounds”. Women just don’t tend to do it as quickly as men do.

    But this is in general. And like life, we shouldn’t see things as generality. Life is different for everyone in the broader scheme. We are all different in how we see and do things. Depending on how we’ve grown up. Studies have shown that the human brain is in constant development till about the late 20’s. Which include the part of the brain where risk is assessed and managed. That’s why those over the age of 30 can look back at their 20 something selves and say, “man, I was pretty dumb”. We realize that we knew less than half what we thought we did, at that age. And why we realize all the risky behavior we did that never registered as RISK. At a young age, it was just “part of growing up”. Technically it is. But doesn’t change the fact that we didn’t see the actual consequences from those risks, as we do in our 30’s and older.

    This is relevant in some ways when it comes to relationships. For one, we are still pretty insecure people in our teens and early adult life. We haven’t truly found ourselves yet. We think we we have, because we haven’t experienced life as it really is. We have a false sense of confidence. Probably because we have many like minded friends urging us on. We only deal with this that we feel comfortable with. At some point, we come across new experiences which contradict what we thought we should do. This is the point were people have to decide to learn from their experience and move on. Or ignore what life is trying to teach, and stick to what they have always known and feel comfortable with. Most tend to stick with what they’ve always done. Hoping the second, third, or fourth try will work. Sadly, only the very rare ever make it. Most of us realize that we need to change ourselves to make change in our lives. When you face your fears, figure out who you are, and what you want for yourself. When you realize society’s expectations, that you’ve learned to follow all your life, become irrelevant compared to what you really need. That what works for your friends, may not work for you, you either quickly learn to be the master of your own fate and grow the budding confidence within yourself, or stay were you feel comfortable. Safe and unaware. Like the saying, “ignorance is bliss”.

    With this new found confidence, and new self, you start to do things for YOU. And no one else. It’s great to have a support system, but only if it allows you to grow. Friends you shouldn’t hang with, are the ones that tell you everything will be fine. Just get back out there and forget about the guy/girl. The ones that are more concerned about you getting over your ex as soon as possible, however possible. Friends you should hang with, are the ones that allow you to grow from the experience. Tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. The ones that will be there for YOU, whether you want to go out and have fun, or sulk and grieve in your pajamas at home. The ones that aren’t insecure themselves. This is about you, not them. You learn the difference between your WANTS vs your NEEDS. And if we continue this path of mental clarity, self-awareness, true confidence, we tend to see relationships much differently than we did in the past. We pick up on the warning queues, the personalities of people, and we find the strength in ourselves to over come our trials. It also helps us to deal with each new relationship better, smarter. Sometimes our feelings get the best of us, and we veer away from the things we need to do for ourselves. It certainly doesn’t get easier, but it does get easier to deal with. For me, after a break up, I’m hurt, for sure. But I also realize that it’s over. I let myself feel what I need to feel, to grieve if you will. Then I’ve gotten over the hurt, my mind purges it all, and I move on. Why cry over spilled milk, right?

    Moving on, easy or hard, really depends on the individual. And what they’ve allowed themselves to grow with, and what they are willing to deal with. Basically, for the insecure, it’s much harder and takes longer to move on. Especially if they jump from one relationship to another, just to fill that void and hurt. This never allows themselves to grow. For the confident, and who knows who they are and what they want, it’s much easier and quicker to move on. Because they tend to occupy their minds with personal growth from the experience, instead of dwelling on something out of their control, and something that really needed to end. Why get upset and dwell on someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Plenty of options out there, and you are in control. 😉